Emotional Intelligence

The TrueWiring Emotional Intelligence Inventory (EQw) is an assessment of your developed skills in two domains: understanding your own emotions and those of others. This instrument identifies your ability to appropriately express your emotions while encouraging others to do the same. There is a huge wave of interest in this topic in contemporary literature, but this is not new!

When we measure intellectual capacity, you’ve probably heard the term Intelligence Quotient, IQ. In this realm, we’re discussing our Emotional Intelligence, EQ. Our ability to properly act and react to situations is based a great deal on our EQ. This means you can positively affect your EQ over time.

The EQw assessment provides insight into the six areas listed below.

  1. Self Awareness. Self Awareness is being aware of what emotions you are experiencing and why you are experiencing these emotions. This skill is demonstrated in real-time. In other words, when you are in the midst of a discussion or even a disagreement with someone else, ask yourself these questions:
    • Are you aware of what emotions you are experiencing?
    • Are you aware of why you are experiencing these emotions?

    More than just knowing you are angry, our goal is to understand what has caused the anger, such as frustration, hurt, pain, confusion, etc.

  2. Self Regulate. Self Regulating is appropriately expressing your emotions in the context of relationships around you. Don’t confuse this with learning to suppress your emotions; rather, think of Self Regulating as the ability to express your emotions appropriately. Healthy human beings experience a full range of emotions and these are important for family, friends, and co-workers to understand. Self Regulating is learning to tell others what you are feeling in the moment. This indicates you are aware of your emotions first (Self Awareness) before you can express it appropriately.
  3. Others Aware. Others Awareness is being aware of what emotions others are experiencing around you and why they are experiencing these emotions. As with understanding your own emotions, this skill is knowing in real-time what another is experiencing. This skill involves reading cues to their emotional state through their eyes, facial expressions, body posture, the tone of voice or many other ways. It is critical you learn to pay attention to these cues for you to enhance your awareness of others’ emotions.
  4. Others Regulate. Others Regulating is helping those around you express their emotions appropriately in the context of your relationship with them. This skill centers on helping others know what emotions they are experiencing and then asking questions or giving permission to them to freely and appropriately express their emotions in the context of your relationship.
  5. EQ in Problem Solving. EQ in Problem Solving identifies how proficient you are in using emotions to solve problems. This skill requires first being aware of what emotions are involved in the problem and what is the source of those emotions.  It also includes helping others (and yourself) express those emotions within the discussion.
  6. EQ Under Stress. It is more difficult to maintain high EQ under high stress than at any other time, so EQ Under Stress identifies how capable you are to keep high EQ under high-stress moments. This skill requires highly developed Self and Others awareness to understand how the stress is impacting yourself and others. It also involves being able to articulate the appropriate emotions under pressure which may be different from articulating them when not under stress.

The good news is you can take this assessment, review your results, then set a course of study to help you improve on areas that are most beneficial to you in your context and at this time. EQ doesn’t change overnight, but you can move the needle in a positive direction.

Developing your EQ is like riding a bike. While it may be helpful to read a book on bike riding, it is even more useful to watch videos. But, the only way to learn to ride a bike is to DO IT! You must develop the kinesthetic sense to feel the balance by your senses, coordinated by your nerves and implemented by many muscles. The same is true with EQ–it is intentionally developed, seen in others, coached in real-time, and practiced in relationships


Further Reading:

Here are a few books which we believe are great resources for developing your EQ:

  1. Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box, The Arbinger Group,  
  2. Emotional Intelligence for Dummies, Steven J. Stein,  .
  3. Primal Leadership: Realizing the Power of Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman,  .
  4. A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix, by Edwin Friedman,  .
  5. Coaching for Emotional Intelligence: The Secret to Developing the Star Potential in Your Employees, by Bob Wall,  .